My husband wants to start trying for another baby even though I'm not ready?

It seems to me that your husband's being pretty selfish here - you have your hands full with two small children and you're probably still grieving for your first - I wonder if he thinks that the more children you have, the more distracted you'll both be from your loss? Anyway, if there's really no talking to him, perhaps you could see your doctor, express your concerns and he/she may be able to talk sense into your husband? It's not like you're saying you won't have any more, just that you need a little more time - and that's perfectly reasonable by anyone's standards. I think you're right about not wanting to lie - to take birth control secretly would cause major trouble if you get found out. Just be as honest as you can, and get help if you need to.